Call it the end of the semester or call it Senioritis...

I just recently learned about a thing called Senioritis, um because apparently, I have it! How crazy is it that you dedicate so many years of your life pursuing a dream only to begin the countdown to self destruction months, weeks, days even minutes before reaching that goal! And all of it seems to stem from the paranoia of not reaching that goal. What the...? What a heyday that revelation must have initially made for the psychology profession.

Why do we do that? Sometimes I think my head just might explode, actually most of the time. A sad side effect from the pressure of Senioritis, from what I have seen, is people taking up long cast away self destructive behaviors to cope with the pressure of it all. I must admit that after 7 years of being free, I have become a slave to the cigarette again because of my weakness under the pressure of Senioritis, and family stresses which have exacerbated my Senioritis.

I find it all so sad and confusing. How does it come to this? How did I get like this? Will it go away when I graduate? What if I go to grad school, (which I need to do in order to be what I think I want to be "when I grow up.") So many unanswered questions, so little time, Sr. Research is currently screaming in my ear..."You don't have your paper done. It's due in half an hour. What are you going to do? You are going to fail. No one is going to believe you've put the time in because it lacks evidence. Where are the studies? Where are the studies? WHERE ARE THE STUDIES?" And with that I must go turn in my long on effort, short on results D or F paper....Kaboom! There it went! I've gone and lost my head...again.