I wish the peace that the beautiful spirit of IZ brings to my heart when I listen to this song to anyone who happens across my blog.

Lucky I'm in Love With My Best Friend

My Sweet Baboo



I am so lucky. I never thought I would be happily married for nearly 16 years, and more in love than the day I said I do. Allen is my best friend. We are everything to each other. He is my other half. He never judges. His eyes never stray. He is always patient. He laughs because I laugh. He keeps his word. He is my life.

Antton and Mooma's First Halloween

Antton's getting his first piece of trick-or-treat candy



Our Little Froggie



Antton and Mommie



Antton and Mooma



What a Great Day!!!

Where is the Mooma Guide?

My happy-go-lucky sweet grandson, Antton, is one of the greatest gifts I have ever received, but I have found it more difficult to be a grandma. People say being a grandparent is wonderful because you just spoil them and send them home, easier said than done!

I don't know when I'm overstepping the boundary between Mom and Mooma. I have only been a Mom, and just like a new parent hopes their new baby will come with an owner's manual, I hope deep down for a manual of my own. I only know how to be a Mom. I worry like a mom whose child is away from home all the time. I worry like a mom about his safety, health, happiness, education and anything else I can think of to work up a heart attack.

I miss him so much when he is not here. How could you not want the perfect baby around all the time. He is so happy, he hardly every cries. I just want to keep him whole and safe from all of the dangers of this world that would threaten his wonderful happy disposition.

I guess, like a new mom, I just have to learn as I go how to continue to be the best Mom and Mooma I can be.

Call it the end of the semester or call it Senioritis...

I just recently learned about a thing called Senioritis, um because apparently, I have it! How crazy is it that you dedicate so many years of your life pursuing a dream only to begin the countdown to self destruction months, weeks, days even minutes before reaching that goal! And all of it seems to stem from the paranoia of not reaching that goal. What the...? What a heyday that revelation must have initially made for the psychology profession.

Why do we do that? Sometimes I think my head just might explode, actually most of the time. A sad side effect from the pressure of Senioritis, from what I have seen, is people taking up long cast away self destructive behaviors to cope with the pressure of it all. I must admit that after 7 years of being free, I have become a slave to the cigarette again because of my weakness under the pressure of Senioritis, and family stresses which have exacerbated my Senioritis.

I find it all so sad and confusing. How does it come to this? How did I get like this? Will it go away when I graduate? What if I go to grad school, (which I need to do in order to be what I think I want to be "when I grow up.") So many unanswered questions, so little time, Sr. Research is currently screaming in my ear..."You don't have your paper done. It's due in half an hour. What are you going to do? You are going to fail. No one is going to believe you've put the time in because it lacks evidence. Where are the studies? Where are the studies? WHERE ARE THE STUDIES?" And with that I must go turn in my long on effort, short on results D or F paper....Kaboom! There it went! I've gone and lost my head...again.

My Mom's a Legend

I was thinking the other day about my mom and what a legend she is. My mom was born and raised in the stereotypical small town. It would make you think that a person who was born, raised, and spent her entire adult life in a town the size of less than 3000 people wouldn't be a person of real consequence, but when you work in a place where the entire population must visit you, you're kind of famous. You see, my grandfather owned a small grocery store and my mother worked there from the time that she was a very small child.She later grew up and worked in the only grocery store in town for 30 years.

The majority of the townspeople came in to shop and it was a much more personal experience back then. The customers would often spend quite a bit of time in the store getting their groceries. They would talk about their families, and the person behind the check stand would know the majority of what was going on in the customers life simply based on what was bought. The people of the town watched my mom grow up, get married, become a widow, get married again, and retire.

So my mom, among other amazing things that people will talk about until they die, has come up with some of the most amazing Halloween costumes, but there was an April Fools Day Prank that was the stuff of legend. It even fooled me. It was the greatest prank I think I have ever seen, and I have no idea if I will ever top it, but I certainly would like to steal it and use it here someday.

Dresses aren't as popular as they used to be, but probably one of the most embarrassing things that can happen to a woman who is wearing a dress is to get it caught in her pantyhose (which also aren't worn as much now). Although, despite the lack of popularity for dresses and pantyhose, women are still forced to wear them on occasion, so picture this:

you go to the bathroom while you are at an event, you do your business, and when you're done you struggle to pull up the pantyhose, snap 'em in place and smooth down the front of your dress. You wash your hands, give yourself a quick once over in front of the mirror and you walk out of the restroom. After about 5 minutes someone comes up to you and whispers in your ear not to move. You begin to panic, is it a spider? a snake? is there a fire? what's wrong? That person, usually another woman, reaches over and tugs on the back of your dress, and then it hits you...you've been walking around with the bottom of your dress tucked into the elastic waste band of your pantyhose and showing off your greatest "assets" to the entire world! How utterly horrifying! And the best or worst part about the whole situation, depending on your standpoint, is that everyone who sees it becomes embarrassed too! Faces redden, pulses quicken, hands tremble, and nervous laughter is suppressed.

Another embarrassing moment for women and public restrooms is the toilet paper debacle. Now, this can happen in a variety of ways: with the toilet paper or the toilet seat cover getting stuck in the back of your underwear, pantyhose, or pants and trailing out the back for the world to see.

Well, my mom, the genius, combined two of the most embarrassing moments a woman could have with the job she grew up doing, being a grocery checker. For April Fool's Day one year my mom wore a long dress to work. She wore shorts and put pantyhose over them. She took a small roll of toilet paper and tucked it into the back of the shorts and let 3 or 4 squares hang out of the back. Then she tucked the end of the dress into the back of her pantyhose, and went to work...Then the uproar ensued!

She had people yanking on the back of her dress, trying to quietly come into her check stand and pull off the toilet paper, people whispering and outright laughing as soon as they walked into the store. She even had a few customers who could not speak English trying to help her, and yes, she even got me; I came into the store, my face immediately turned red, I hurried up behind her in the check stand while she was waiting on a customer and whispered in her ear that I had to pull her dress down. And what did she do to repay my kindness? She laughed and said, "It's April Fools Day!"

My mom's a legend for so many more amazing and important things than this, but there is no one in this world who knows her that would argue that my mom is indeed a legend.

I love you mom!

Ciggarettes and Chocolate Milk

I have recently fallen in love with this song. I think it's because Rufus sings about some of his human failings. And boy oh boy have I got failings! So, if you want me to do something tell me I can't. Go ahead, I dare you! If I do something, I dive in. I'm not a luke-warm entity. If I take on a project it gets done in more than likely an over-the-top manner. If I believe in something, that's it. End of discussion. Hard-headed has been used in reference to me many times. Some of these attributes may seem like good things, but I apply them to whatever I'm doing, so when I was younger and partied and did drugs, it was to excess. When I am angry it is easily turns to fury. When I love it is for a lifetime, and sometimes that's not always good. When I am injured I don't forgive.

I would like to think at my age, 41 this Friday, that I would be better at balance and moderation, but I'm not. When do you actually grow up? I don't know. I don't feel grown up. I'm a mother of 2 adult children and a grandmother, and yet I don't feel like I have any attributes of any stereotypes of any of those things.

I am a senior in college, and at my age you would think well, she doesn't have much time left to begin a career and get established, so she probably has a solid idea of what she is going to do when she graduates. Uh, nope. I have entertained ideas of grad school, but I am really burned out. I have thought about just getting a teaching certificate after I graduate, but that requires more school. I've thought about becoming a radio personality, but who knows if at my age I could break into that business. I've thought about staying home and being a writer, but I don't really know what I want to write. I know my husband would let me just be a housewife if I wanted, but I'm didn't get the domestic gene. I want to change the world, I have no idea how, and I am tired! I stop and think how sad I am that I am this old and I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.

For all of you who have your life all figured out, and know the secret would you share it with me? And in the meantime...

When you read these types of pathetic little rants,like Rufus says, please excuse me if I'm a mess...

On Parenting

Well,
As a former teen-parent I've decided to change my Senior Research project to studying and comparing and contrasting the communication patterns of teen parents versus adult-parents. I honestly believe that there can be some real positives for the kids of teen-parents when they reach adolescence and young adulthood.

My kids and I have a very relaxed communication system with each other, and while much of the research I've seen states that a relaxed parent-child communication structure is not necessarily good for the kids when it comes to authority, I believe that my kids and I communicate about more of the intimate details of their lives than most parents ever find out in a lifetime of talking to, or rather at, their kids.

I acknowledge that I have a fairly unique situation with my kids, but I do not think that all kids who are raised by teen parents grow up to be deadbeats. One of my kids served a year in Iraq as a medic, and is now a college student, and the other is beginning Cosmetology school. I know that I am not the only teen-parent of adult-children whose kids have decided to seek higher education.

I'm not saying, "run right out there kids and get knocked up," but there are some positives concerning the parent-child relationship simply due to a lack of a generation gap. I know that there are some things that my kids tell me that they wouldn't have willingly shared with parents they didn't feel could understand exactly where they are at in life.

Those moments when my kids let me into their lives are some of the most precious gifts I have ever received.

I can't wait to see where this research takes me.

My Heart Soars When I Hear Jason